I am the Coolest Mom in the World. I’ve suspected as much for a long time, but now I have proof. Thanks to Lifehack.org and their post “17 Signs You Have the Coolest Mom in the World.”
One of my friends on the Facebook posted the link. (Although neither they nor their mother are the Coolest in the World. I own that.) and it got me to wondering. Was it possible that I am the Coolest? Clearly, I’m Cool. But Coolest? Only one way to find out.
So I clicked over and read those 17 signs.* And, yep, every last one of them described me, with the exception of #8 (Your mom always calls and asks how your life is — and she genuinely cares.) But that just doesn’t fit yet, since my kids still live with me. I don’t need to call them. Unless using my “intercom” system – shouting up the stairs – counts. But I mostly use that to tell them dinner is ready, not to check on their lives.
So the next morning I casually left my iPad open to the Lifehack article and oh-so-casually shoved it in my teenage daughter’s face when she came downstairs.**
“See? See? Scientific proof that I am cool! In fact, I’m the Coolest! Read it – I dare you to dispute any of them! It’s on the internet! It’s science!”
My daughter sighed in that dramatic way only teenage girls can pull off and took my iPad. She started reading and looked up with a gleam in her eye.
“No. Sorry. You’re always telling me you’re not my friend, you’re my mom. So, already, number one, no.”
“Ah, but read number two, sweet child,” I tell her.
She does. “Damn,” she says. And that’s all she says as she reads the rest of the signs, except for the occasional “Well, that’s true” and “Yeah.”
She finishes the article and hands me back the iPad.
“I told you I was the Coolest Mom in the World. Now we have proof.”
And she comes over to me and hugs me and tells me “I always knew you were, Mom.”
‘Cause she’s the Coolest Teen Daughter in the World.
And then “Can you bring me Chipotle for lunch?”***
* The 17 signs, per Lifehack.org:
1. Your mom is one of your best friends.
2. But your mom makes sure she puts her role as mother over her role as friend.
3. You can always count on your mom to be there to listen.
4. Your mom is your biggest cheerleader.
5. You and your mom have the best inside jokes ever.
6. You and your mom always stick together at family gatherings.
7. Your mom always puts family first.
8. Your mom always calls and asks how your life is — and she genuinely cares.
9. Your mom always keeps a watchful eye. . . but she doesn’t hover.
10. Your mom lets you make mistakes, but she’s always there to help you get back on your feet.
11. Your mom knows that she’s just an older, wiser kid at heart.
12. Everyone loves your mom.
13. Because your mom is hilarious.
14. Even when you’re mad at her, you still know how much you care about her.
15. Your answer to “Who’s your biggest hero?” is always “my mom.”
16. You can’t imagine who you would be without your mom…
17. …because your mom is one of the most important people in your world.
** I admit, not letting her eat breakfast before I accosted her was very un-cool.
*** The answer was no. No mom is that cool.